Playing to win, how to make New Year’s resolutions stick + the number one thing you can say to yourself
Are you playing to win? Or are you playing not to lose? Or are you not playing at all?
There have been big chunks of my life where, frankly, I wasn’t playing at all. When I was sitting at the back of the class/pretending to be dumber than I was to be liked/getting wasted so it looked like I didn’t care as much as I did.
And then there were times when I was so determined to win that, frankly, I didn’t care who I stepped on on my way up. Yup, that was me too.
When I’m afraid, I can still catch myself playing not to lose—still in the game, but hovering just enough beyond the spotlight so as not to be threatened or threatening. Such as writing a book for five years and never sharing it with anyone—until someone dared me to finally submit my manuscript. (I got picked up by a top literary agent right after that, so turns out me and my book were ready after all.)
Last week, however, I played to win.
I did something super scary for an introvert like me—which is thrusting myself into a room full of strangers, to make friends and learn from, so I can do more scary things, like getting up on stages in front of rooms full of strangers ;)
It turned out to be the best experience.
I got to hear from MASTER storytellers and speakers like Sebastien Sasseville (endurance athlete, Mount Everest, Sahara Desert), Victoria Labalme (whose message about risking forward really resonated with me) and Ingrid Palmer (who delivered a powerful message of self love, courage and compassion in the most poetic way).
I got to meet inspiring leaders like Orlando Bowen (former CFL linebacker, now #OneVoiceOneTeam champion). I learned more about people patterns and behaviours and my own strengths and weaknesses through criminologist Fred Colantonio and former military police officer Erik Rheam. And I also got to witness so many different approaches to speaking, training and facilitating, that my mind is still reeling and trying to process it all. (Thank you too to the lovely Pamela Robinson for sharing her insightful—and surprising—tips for how to be a better presenter.)
I’ll be honest, I never dreamed of being a speaker. Growing up, I hated the spotlight, and even used to get my sister to open my birthday presents for me so I could avoid it.
But I want to help people write their books and share their stories and their messages of hope, and that means getting in front of them, risking forward and putting others and my vision ahead of my ego, my fears and my doubts. Kind of like writing.
This is my last newsletter of the year. I’ll be taking two weeks off for Christmas and another two weeks off after that, to recover from the “holidays” ;)
Looking forward to the new year, I know how I’ll be playing to win in 2024. I plan to keep honing my presentation skills, working on my next book and doing whatever it takes to help my clients succeed at their own books and businesses as well. Because we are a team, and team matters to me.
So how are you playing to win and what are you playing for, in 2024? I’d love to know.
Wishing you happy holidays and a wonder-filled new year.
Cat xo
PS: If writing a book next year is how you’re playing to win, message me. I have a few ideas of how I can help ;)
How to make your New Year’s resolutions stick
Like the saying goes, “Every great journey starts with a single step.”
Here’s how I make my new year’s resolutions happen.
I jot down my vision for the future, getting clear on what I want, and why it’s important to me
I prioritize according to what I believe I can do now/this year, what I’m aiming for in 2-5 years, and what I’d like to see happen in 10 years
I plot out the trajectories between where I am now and where I want to go
I then add the milestones necessary to my calendar, because if it’s not there, it’s not going to happen
Finally I build in support and accountability as needed. For example, to support me with working on my next book, a project that is personally and technically challenging for me, I’m building in regular meet-ups with my own writing mentor Dave Mark, who gives me the encouragement I sometimes need and reminds me to put Cat first when I find myself slipping to the back of the priority list. (See? Happens to the all of us.) Thank you, Dave!
For some, a book writing practice might look like an hour a day. For others it’s one day a weekend, or one weekend a month. But for all of us, it’s one page at time.
The infinite power of stories
To leave you and this year on a high note, I’m sharing one of my favourite interviews, with Angus Fletcher, Professor of Story Science at Ohio State's Project Narrative.
In our fascinating chat, Angus talks about our infinite capacity for creativity and stories, our ability to write and re-write our stories, and how every story matters.
“The number one thing you can say to yourself is there are more stories, and I can create them.”